I'm not sure if anyone knows but I attended the Erma Bombeck Writer's Workshop last weekend.
When I first arrived I actually sat in my car for ten minutes. Thoughts of What the hell am I doing here? and I'm not even a real writer! were sounding in my head.
I walked in to find my life raft, Heidi.
We were separated at birth, lucky to find each other again and she bitmojis.
My new friends, Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff, said that it is important to have a friend without an agenda. Before my girls start blowing up my phone, I know I have many but I'm adding Heidi to my list.
I furiously took notes.
I turned on the "sponge-mode" and took everything in.
I learned that a blog should be 500 words or less and that I may have posted a few "chapters", which are around 2000 words.
I also learned that there are people, just like me, who like to write but feel unworthy of the pen.
I made business cards at the suggestion of an old high school friend.
I realized how unimportant I was when:
1. I didn't really have much to put on it because Dan made me remove my cell number in case of serial killers.
2. I'm still on AOL.
I was shocked when people asked me for a card and as I fumbled to hand them one I prefaced with, "Please don't read my blog."
I learned that Wendy also uses AOL, which made me feel like a rockstar.
I'm not sure a 500 worded blog or even a 2000 worded chapter could fully describe all that I heard, saw, and learned.
I can tell you that I laughed to the point of not feeling my cheeks. I met some fabulous women (and like six men) who inspired me with their stories and life experiences.
I texted Dan during the night of our first dinner to tell him he need not reenact any scenes of Taken yet and that I felt wonderfully small around such huge people.
I'm honestly not sure what my next step will be in the writing world. I am happy where I am because that is the realistic answer to that question but also because writers come in all sizes of Cabernets and Chardonnays.
I am no longer an Erma Virgin and am feeling Ermafied!